This time last year I started this blog with a post about rooster chili. Last night I had some serious déjà vu - Carson brought home a rooster that had started getting frisky, and I ended up following the chili recipe I used last March to a T. It’s rainy and wintry just like it was last year (a very welcome week of rain!) and it left me reflecting on what’s changed – and what’ stayed the same – in the last year.
Carson moved into our house last March, and it’s somewhat surreal to think that we’ll have been together two years in June. This time last year, I was head over heels in love with him. Today I love him even more, in deeper and more complex ways. We’ve definitely settled in; I trust him with my dirty laundry and I don’t feel like he’s going to break up with me if I throw a tantrum. I’ve finally learned what people mean when they say relationships take “work.” I always imagined it was a structured, scheduled kind of work, like having a discussion after a fight. Naive, right? Now I know it’s more of a moving target, a vague series of lessons about trust and patience and compromise. Luckily Carson doesn’t need the patience lesson as much as I do; one impatient person is enough.
This time last year I worked from home; now I go into an office 30 hours a week. It has definitely taken a toll on our domestic bliss, since last year I was cooking 90% of our meals from scratch (plus canning like crazy) and the floors were so clean we could eat off them. But I’m not working until 2 am like I was during my self-employed days, and when I get home, I’m home. I also have a reliable income, which can’t be beat, and it means we can afford to eat out when I don’t feel like cooking. I know some people will scoff at 30 hours like it’s nothing, but I came to Ukiah for a different kind of life. I have grown to hate the word “busy” - we have too much on our plates, but it’s because as a society we are so obsessed with our busy-ness. I’m trying to avoid a frenetic lifestyle, and for me 30 hours a week offers a reasonable balance between work and home. I wish more people would get on that bandwagon.
This time last year we were a two-person family; now we have our adorable dog Bee. Bee has become quite popular; sometimes people pick her up for a run, a trip to the park, or just to hang out. (It takes a village to raise a dog?) I’m working on a collage of pictures of her snuggling with all of our friends; Lauren says she should be a therapy dog because she makes everyone feel loved.
There have been lots of changes, but in many ways things are the same – and I love it. Ukiah is the same quaint country town, we have great friends, the weather is idyllic (albeit drought-y), and we drink a lot of local, affordable, delectable wine. There’s part of a local cow and some chickens in our freezer, and the bees are abuzz with all the spring blossoms. And Carson and I are the same, too – in fact, we’re better. We’ve seen what’s behind our picture-perfect smiles, and we like each other even more.